Today i got my first speeding ticket. I was going 33mph in a 35mph zone...the only problem was it was a school zone at the time. I dont get why it was though, it was 11:00am...meaning everyone who went to either elentry shool or high school was already in school. It realy makes no since other then to give out huge tickets... The undercover cop was very nice...to nice! That pissed me off. Who takes your license and registration, looks up your record, sees that your clean, but dosnt give you a warning, instead gives you a $192 ticket and 6 points off your license then says,...have a nice day?? What has this world come to? Now even friendly manners are used as an insult! The worst part was telling my mom. I decided to soften her up before i spilled so i bought the diet pepsiaholic a huge diet pepsi and dropped it off at her work. It sounded like the perfect plan that was until i walked in and my grandma was there also...double guilt trip! I finally got the nerve to tell her. She responded with your kidding! dang it Ell-907! I am very disapointed in you! you used to be the good driver. Everyone in our family has got in an accident or has got a ticket this year...I used to say everyone in our family is a bad driver except for Ell-907 now i have to say everyone in our family is a bad driver! Do you know what this is going to do to our insurence? you need to get a part time job... I can't talk to you right now I'll talk to you later tonight. I'm not going to lie. I'm a little afraid...and that was with a friend there.

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family in unhappy in its own way."-Leo Tolstoy I sat and pondered that quote long and hard until, my English teacher Mrs. Louise interrupted my thought process, barking my name, "Ella!" She must have said it a few times before I heard her because she was half way to my desk by then and her tone sounded frustrated. Shaken by the loud voice I hissed back, "what!" She took a deep breath in, shaking off the flustered look, caused by my unexpected reply and asked, "Ella, what do you think about Leo Tolstoy’s first line?" now in a nicer, calm voice. One of the kids in my class shouted out "who cares what she thinks!" I ignored him because I could see Mrs. Louise had it covered by giving him the eye. I replied, "I agree and disagree with it." Collecting my thoughts as the other kids snickered, and giggled. Mrs. Louise then asked, "really? Care to enlighten us Ella?" I could tell she was only interested in hearing my insight to add to the commotion in the room, so I replied, "no, not really, someday you'll understand what I mean." That was the breaking point to which the entire class bursted into abrupt laughter. I guess I didn't see what was so funny. My hair was nice today, my clothes were clean, I quickly glanced down, and my zipper was up, no toilet paper on my shoe today. Then Mrs. Louise calmed down the class and said through a not so hidden smile, "I suppose so, however, I don't like your attitude young lady, detention!"

It's not the appearance of things.
Beauty is, as beauty does.
It is saying thank you
It is opening a door
Giving money to the poor
It is an engraving in your soul
It makes you who you are
A comforting smile
The first snowfall
It is forever giving hope like
a candle burning
throughout the dark night
Beauty is love
And love is beauty.

Why would you do this to me? My heart is breaking! I'm trying to hold it inside, but the tears keep blurring my eyes. I'm so confused; I'm still in shock.

I wish I could feel the hand of someone who understands. All my trust and love is lost. How could I open up and share my life with someone who pretended to care, but lied! Without a call not even a note, you cut my dry and left me to die.

You betrayed our trust. You promised me this time you would come back. I cant keep going through this painful process, I went threw hell that year you left, what am I supposed to think? What did I do to deserve this?

We shared everything and expected nothing. Who am I going to go to for advice? Who am I going to run to first with good news? No one can replace my sweet. No one can help me, no one can comfort me. The one person who knew me better than I knew my self, left me.

I hope your happy, I hope your satisfied, you just lost a best friend as did I. All those times we spent talking about stupid boys who couldn't take a hint, from late nights to early mornings. Chasing the bus and slipping on ice, means nothing anymore. The funny times make me smile which stabs my heart with sorrow.

Our dreams of traveling the world and becoming millionaires. All the car rides with blaring music on. Through thick and thin we'll always be best friends. Where those all words to you? It's all a dead distant memory now.

Maybe you like it better there because your mom spoils you. Maybe you like it there because you have more family. I know you always felt out of place, and your dad and you never got along. I wish that wasn't the reason why you just packed up and left because things got a little tough.

Whats wrong with you? Can't you see your hurting me, not just mentally, but physically. See my white flag, I surrender, please don't put me through any more torture! I miss you now more then ever.

Is it me? Are you afraid of what I'll say? Please don't ignore me, I was once the one you ran to for help, cant you see? Now it's me. I'm begging you please....call me!

If you choose to leave me behind, I'll make up excusses to free my mind. I'll be all right just you wait and see; I'll live life the way it ought to be. You taught me once I didn't get it, you taught me twice I wont forget it. I hope to see you once again only because you'll always be my friend.

I felt that feeling again,
I thought you were there,
all my fears faded,
all my worries were gone,
I was happy.

I felt safe and loved again,
Then like a weak dam,
my heart brook,
reality kicked in.

I felt lonely and cold.
You were the light of my life,
then you left,
i feel trapped in the dark.

I thought I couldn't go on,
then i saw your face,
and I felt hope.
I went towards you,
but you disappeared.

I closed my eyes
and remembered the chair you once sat at,
we would stay up late watching movies,
reminiscing on all the stupid things
we've done together.

A smile crossed my face threw the empty tears.
I wish you were here
to rap your safe, warm arms around me
and tell me everything would be alright.
But you are gone now,
and all my love has left me
to surrender to my unwavering
guilt..